This is the second part of my post regarding Forgiveness and Forgiving. In part 1, we covered some points on what is not Forgiving.
Many Christians tend to underestimate the importance of forgiving others and I believe that’s a huge mistake. The practice of “forgiving others” will affect our long term health, our healing, our righteousness and spirituality. If it is not crucial then why does Jesus and God forgive? Remember when God said in 1 Peter 1:16 – “You shall be holy for I am holy”.
Well, harboring unforgiveness in your heart doesn’t make you holy. Unforgiveness is no less or more sinful than any other sin. It is a sin and should be dealt with accordingly.
Let’s look at some of the practices of a Christian church/person. Be born again, be righteous, repent of any sin, do tithing, do fasting, pray without ceasing, do communion, practise the fruits of the Spirit, do baptism, honor the ten commandments, study the bible, do deliverance, study healing, find and/or develop our spiritual gifts, become a Pastor, Evangelist, Teacher or an Elder… and more.
Mai he tau mena oti nei… Out of all of these, which ones do you think are the least important?
I think most of us would put Forgiving as one of the least important. Another that is least popular is Fasting. Yet both are very important for our spirituality, health and longevity.
RECAP FROM LAST WEEK
- Luka 6:37 / Mataio 6: 14-15 – fakamagalo neke nakai fakamagalo he Atua a koe.
- Fai kakano ti tuku ai e fakamagalo i loto he liogi – Mataio 6:12.
- Koe konahia he ha tautolu a tau loto, to fakahukia e Agaga Tapu.
- Kehe e fakafetui kehe e fakamagalo. Maeke ke fakamagalo kae nakai fakafetui.
- Aua talia e kelea he tgt kua taute ma haau, kaeke kua holifono; fakamagalo ti fakahala. Ai fiafia e Atua kehe hala. Nakai ko tautolu e pule ke nakai fakahala e tgt.
- Aua fakatikai e mena kua taute (do not deny, justify, cover or pretend whatever happened, didn’t happen or that it didn’t hurt you).
WHAT IS COMPLETE FORGIVENESS?
1. Being aware of what someone has done and still choose to forgive them.
Kitia maali e mena he tgt ne taute aki a koe; kae fakamagalo agaia ni e koe.
What must we not do? We must not make excuses, cover up, justify or accept any sin when it’s committed against us. Why? God do not like sin.
2. Choose to keep no records of wrong. Nakai manatu e tau mena moe tau tagata kelea kua ekefakakelea a koe.
1 Corinthians/Korinito 13:5. (NIV) “nakai kumi e ia haana tau mena”.
Forgiving is a choice, an act of will and not a feeling. It is not something we do because we feel it. Every habit takes time but sooner or later, it will become second nature. If you want to cultivate good habits, don’t listen to your emotions and feelings; listen to your head; listen to the Bible.
Don’t even keep a record of rights. Things that you were right about in the past. This is partly why Paul says, I do not even judge myself in 1 Corinthians 4 : 3.
3. Refusal to avenge or pay back.
Nakai manako ke fakahala e tau tgt kua fakamagalo e koe. Koe tau agahala ikiiki ai kelea lahi e kau ia – fekovikovi aki, loma, ekefakakelea, pikopiko, tau amuamu moe falu hala pihia.
Tau agahala lalahi ne moumou e tau fakatufono 10 (Esoto 20; Deut 5) – kelipopo, faivao, kaiha, abuse – fakamagalo ti fakaoti hokotaki. Ai fiafia e Atua kehe tau hala oti mua atu kehe tau hala lalahi. Nakai koe pule ha tautolu ke fakahao e holifono kua taute. Koe pule he Atua moe fakafiliaga he fakatufono a ia.
Pehe a 1 Ioane 4:18 Nakai toka ai ha matakutaku ke he fakaalofa.
In these verses God said that vengeance is His responsibility so it is wrong for us to want to take revenge.
Read – Deutronomy/Teutaronome 32:35, Romans/Roma 12:19, Hebrews/Heperu 10:30.
4. Not disclosing what they did. Aua fakapuloa e kelea he tagata ne taute.
Nakai fakapuloa he Atua ha tautolu a tau hala, ka fakamagalo e ia a tautolu. God doesn’t go around telling the whole village about our sins, so why should we broadcast about people who sinned against us?
5. Being merciful like our Lord. Mahani fakaalofa tuga ha tautolu a Iki.
Matthew/Mataio 5:7 – “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”
Luke/Luka 6:36 – “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”
These verses are not in the Bible to fill up space. When we do as God commanded we will be blessed exactly like how God said. God never breaks His promises. Remember these two important concepts.
Grace – getting what we don’t deserve (like a favour).
Mercy – not getting what we do deserve (justice). Taha ni e kupu Niue koe fakaalofa ke fakakite aki e tau mena tokoua nei.
6. Be Gracious. Do not make a rigorous stand even if you are clearly in the right.
Pete ni he hako a koe poke iloa e koe e tala mooli; aua neke tu malolo moe hiki lima a koe. Mahani fakaalofa, maimaina, fakamolu moe fakatokolalo.
John/Ioane 8 : 10-11, Iesu moe fifine fakataka. Nakai eke fakakelea poke fakama e Iesu e fifine fakataka nei.
In the above story, the religious leaders brought a woman in shameful filled situation, accused of adultery, to Jesus hoping to trap him. Jesus stooped down and wrote something on the ground without reacting. Maybe he despised their wickedness and/or was showing concern for her dignity and safety. Here, Jesus exposed a sin where we want to punish others for their sins while ignoring the same sin we committed. He targeted those who are accusing and not the accused while showing graciousness.
Psalm 145:8 – The Lord is gracious and merciful; Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness.
Colossians 4:6 (Kolose) – Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
7. Takes place in the heart. Hake mai he fatuaki loto haau.
Tau mena ne mamahi, hukia lahi a tautolu ki ai, uka lahi ke fakamagalo ka nakai hake mai he atefua.
Nakai fai tgt ne nakai iloa e mamahi hokulo; igatia ni a tautolu moe iloa ha tautolu a tau mamahi ha koe tau ekefakakelea mai he falu. Koe tgt ne pehe mukamuka, ai la iloa he tgt ia, e fakamagalo fakamooli. Mukamuka ke vagahau, kae nakai mumui e tau manatu he hana atefua moe tau laugutu. Ko Iosefa mo Iesu ne fakamagalo fakamooli mai he tau loto.
1 John 3:21 – “Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God”
8. Absence of bitterness. Ka galo e konahia moe fakafualoto mai he loto.
a) You must have no desire to get even or to punish.
b) You do nothing or say nothing that would hurt their reputation now and/or in the future.
c) When you truly wish them well in all they do.
d) When you are able to bless them.
Read Ephesians/Efeso 4 : 30-32.
9. When you forgive God. Ka fakamagalo e koe e Iki he lagi.
In every situation, all anger and bitterness can be traced to God. In things that hurts us deeply, if we look deep enough, we can see our bitterness towards God. Even if we do it subconsciously.
10. When you forgive yourself. Ka fakamagalo e koe, a koe.
Something we hear a lot – “I know God forgives me but I cannot forgive myself.”
This viewpoint is wrong. Whilst it may sound admirable to live in self-pity or guilt, try not to go down this path. It’s like saying that God’s forgiveness is not a big deal. That God cannot understand or be able to to help you. We are saying that our self-imposed punishment (which this is) is higher than God’s forgiveness and that just sound wrong.
Yes it’s important to give ourselves time to mourn, reflect and grieve as long as we don’t live in bondage for months/years on end. That guilt trip, that bondage you may be feeling… is not from God. Anything that is not from God, can only come from the evil one. Forgive, love, release yourself so God can start working again on and in your heart.
WE CAN LEARN FROM JOSEPH
How do we know we have forgiven someone? Iloa fefe, kua fakamagalo tai e koe e tagata?
Tuga a Iosefa, ne talaage kehe tau tgt ke o kehe he poko, kae toka hifo a ia moe tau matakainaga.
Do not let anyone know what someone said about you or did to you.
Ephesians 4:32. Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.
Do not allow anybody to be afraid of you or to be intimidated by you. Aua taute a lautolu ke matakutaku kia koe.
Joseph revealed his identity to his brothers with compassion and tears. As he embraced them the last thing he wanted was for them to be afraid of him. He was the second most powerful man behind the Pharaoh, yet all he wanted was to be loved, not to be admired by his brothers.
1 John 4:18 – there is no fear (matakutaku) in love.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
“Nakai toka ai ha matakutaku ke he fakaalofa; kae koe fakaalofa fakakatoatoa kua vega kehe e ia e matakutaku, ha koe ha he matakutaku he mamahi; ka ko ia kua matakutaku, kua nakai fakakatoatoa a ia kehe fakaalofa.”
We want them to forgive themselves and not feel guilty. Lagomatai a lautolu ke fakamagalo a lautolu ni; kae aua neke fuafuakelea a lautolu.
Sometimes we may say to someone “I forgive you for what you did, but I hope you feel bad about it.” This is the worst thing anyone could ever say. If you have forgiven then say something like this, you have reversed all the good things you have done for this situation up to this point.
Joseph wanted to set his brothers free. He was doing what Jesus would one day did, he wanted to make it easy for his brothers to forgive themselves.
We will let them save face. Fakahakehake e tautolu a lautolu (kae aua fakavai).
Genesis/Kenese 45:7-8, you didn’t do it. God did it. Joseph didn’t diminish what the brothers did, he saw the greater purpose God planned over the evil his brothers did to him.
Koe ha ne hako ai e fakahakehake? Why is it right to uplift/complement the person?
Protect them from their greatest fear. Puipui ha lautolu a tau matakutaku.
Joseph instructed his brothers to tell their father a story. What’s special abt that story? He left out certain things to protect their father and brothers. Genesis/Kenese : 45: 9 – 13.
You are now asking why didn’t Joseph allow his brothers, to tell their father (Jacob) the whole truth?
Ask yourself this question, would Jacob be better off knowing it? No.
Would the brothers be better off if they tell Jacob? No.
Would Joseph be better off? No.
This story illustrates why we often need to exercise God’s wisdom in every stories we tell.
Forgiving is a lifelong commitment. Fakamagalo kehe fakaotiaga.
17 years later, Jacob their father, died. The brothers became fearful and sent word to Joseph with a story that was alleged to have come from their father (but was a lie). Totou e Iosefa e tohi moe tagi a ia. He reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
Seventeen years later, Joseph is still forgiving his brothers, looking after and caring for them.
Mathew 5:44. “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...”
TAKE HOME POINTS
Jesus forgave before he died on the cross. Stephen forgave the crowd who killed him with rocks. Joseph forgave his brothers. God forgave David and Bathsheba for committing adultery. This is one pattern Christians ought to follow every time without exception.
KA MUMUI A TAUTOLU KIA IESU,
LATA FOKI KE FAKAMAGALO A TAUTOLU TUGA A IESU.
To moua e tautolu e moui mafola (peace), moui nakai gagao (health) moe nakai fakahukia e tautolu e Atua.
Fakamagalo tuga ne fakamagalo e Iesu a tautolu.
“Koe fakamagalo katoatoa ke moua e mafola, monuina moe puhala tonu ki mua he Atua.”
“Total forgiveness will bring you peace; blessings and righteousness with God.”
Tau tohi totou ne fakaaoga e au ke lata moe lauga nei.
1 Corinthians/Korinito 13:5 (p993),
1 John/Ioane 3:21 (p1060).
Matthew/Mataio 5:7 (p828).
Matthew/Mataio 5:44 (p829).
Deutronomy/Teutoronome 32:35 (p200).
Romans/Roma 12:19 (p980).
Hebrew/Heperu 10:30 (p1044).
Colossians/Kolose 4:6 (p1023).
Luke/Luka 6:37 (p885).
Matthew/Mataio 6: 14-15 (p829).
Matthew/Mataio: 6:12 (p829).
Ephesians/Efeso 4:30-32 (p1014).
Acts/Gahua 7.
Genesis/Kenese 50:19-21.